Growing up I never had the opportunity to join any sports activities. I started working since the end of freshman year of Highschool. Never stopped. I still to this day remember the first time I stepped foot in a gym, while I was still in Highschool. My oldest brother took me. I was so intimidated by all the guys. My brother could sense it. He tried to help. But he just ended up saying lets go. And was so nice about it. I ruined his workout haha. Three years ago I stepped foot in a Crossfit gym. Three boxes later. I’m exactly where I need to be. I’ve surrounded myself with people that keep me accountable. People that are so kind. So warm. I found a bit of peace. I’ve also found that having the mentality of everyday is a win. Truly changes things for me. 8 months of consistency and my entire body composition has changed. I have bad days but I show up. Yes I can do so many other things. But I genuinely enjoy working out. Testing my limits. Nurturing my growth as an athlete. Haha I called myself an athlete. I am so happy. Working out keeps me sane. Stabilizes me. I recently listened to a podcast that spoke about the necessity of finding habits that stabilize you as you start your healing process. To deal with your childhood traumas. I’ve found so many things. I know what I need and at what moment. My foundation is finally solid. Now I can begin my work. To dig. Fitness truly saves lives. There’s no such thing as I’m not good enough. Or I have to get to a certain point to start. You start today and keep consistent. You’ll find your own journey and your own path. .
Pope Alexander VI, born Rodrigo Lanzol y de Borja, (1431-1503) was one of the most controversial popes of the Renaissance era. The House of Borgia (Borja in Spanish) was an Italo-Spanish noble family originating from Aragon which rose to prominence in ecclesiastical and political affairs in Europe in the 15th and 16th centuries. Especially during the reign of Alexander, the family were suspected of many arsenic poisonings and other crimes including adultery, incest, theft and bribery. Alexander was also a controversial pope because he openly acknowledged being fathering several children by his mistress, Vannozza dei Cattanei, and later enjoyed an affair with Giulia Farnese, one of the most beautiful women of her day. Alexander was rumoured to have bribed his way into papacy, paying off rival candidate Ascanio Sforza of the Milanese with four mule loads of silver. Once he was elected pope, he elevated no fewer than 10 family members to the college of Cardinals, and endowed others with a host of fiefdoms in the Papal States. Despite the family’s crimes, it is very likely that their name has been unfairly and disproportionately tarnished through history by their enemies, of which they had plenty. The Spanish were looked down upon in Italy at the time, and the Borgia family had a many rivals within Italy who resented their power and status. This is probably at least part of the reason why Alexander elevated so many family members whom he could trust. In addition to this, the crimes they did commit were commonplace among the rich wealthy families of the day, and remain so to this day. The pro-French candidate for papacy at the same time as Alexander, Guiliano della Rovere, for example, was bankrolled to the cost of 200,000 gold ducats by King Charles VIII of France.
Reclaiming your body is an act of radical self-love.
“When I let my sensual light shine and be visible, I become a beacon of healing and representation for others. I give them permission to access the soft, bold, vulnerable, unashamed parts of themselves.
I will keep nurturing and deepening this relationship I’ve ignited with my sensuality, because I know that when I give space for my softness, I empower and I heal.” @evyan.whitney
Happy two years to my new and improved heart ♥️
I know I always say it but it completely blows my mind to think this was me two years ago after my second open heart surgery!
Don’t get me wrong the lead up and most certainly the after math could not have been further from plain sailing!
I appreciate a lot more the good old saying ‘anything can happen in a year’
The year of this surgery turned my world right onto its head! It push my body physically, it completely broke me down mentally
It was the biggest lesson life has ever given to me.
I have so much appreciation for mental health now then I ever did.
I have so much appreciation for my body, the power, the resilience, the fight and the love it gave even when I couldn’t.
It was all a healing process.
Trauma permanently changes you, fact!
There is no ‘back to the old me’ you are different now and that is never a bad thing.
Lessons in life whether great or small will mould us to be the humans we become everyday.
For sometime I was fighting with myself and maybe with god or some higher power, to understand why this was my life lesson, I saw it more of a punishment then the blessing it is. Some people may not understand how this is a blessing but that’s ok.
I know and that’s all that matters ♥️
-Seeking and searching-
Look into the mirror and the deepest and darkest realities you don’t dare wish to face look back piercingly at you
Look Into the darkness and you see all you left behind all you once loved and that you lost
Look into the light and you see bliss joy victory and if pushed too far, piercing rays that leave you white eyed and blind to all else
Look into yourself and you find deep wells of knowledge and truth; you find the answers you seek, or at least the correct questions to pose
Within lies something more, something eternal and vast
A missing half to an incomplete whole
A soul that searches, seeks, but never finds
A journey embarked on
A truth scoured for
A mystery never truly solved
A self never truly discovered